The Father's Blessing

A boy asked his father, "How much do you earn in an hour?"
The father got mad and answered roughly, "Don't bother me." He was tired and irritable after a tough day at work, but the boy insisted. "Please, how much do you earn?"
The father said in a bad tone of voice, "six pounds." Then his son asked, "Father can you loan me three pounds?" The father said to him in an angry tone, "I told you not to bother me, shut up and go to your room!"
At bedtime the father was calmer and felt bad about the way he had treated his son. He went upstairs to his son's room and asked, "Are you asleep?" He gave to the boy the three pounds that he had asked for.
The boy thanked his father, put his hand under his pillow, pulled out three pound coins, and said, "I have six pounds father, could I buy one hour of your time?"

Louie Gigilo, in the second part of "Seeing God as a Perfect Father" series pulled off the scab of a wound, which I thought was long healed.

What are the words you remember your father saying to you?
"I am tired. Don't bother me!"
"No!"
"Because I said so!"
"Money doesn't grow on trees "
"You think it's funny? You better wipe that smile off your face."
"I am busy"
"This is going to hurt me more than it'll hurt you"
"It's your fault!"
"Stop crying or I'll really give you something to cry about!"
"Make me some tea!"
"It is our secret"
"Ask you mother"
"Good for nothing"
"What do you think you are doing?"
"Children are meant to be seen, not heard"
"Get to your room!"
"Don't make me pull this car over"
"Don't tell anyone"
And you can add many more.

These are some of the words my father has used. This does not paint a pretty picture. Louie describes our earthly fathers in five types.

• Employing Father - Tells you that he loves you. Sets you up to succeed
• Abusive Father - Piecing words. Emotional, spiritual and /or physical abuse
• Absent Father - Too busy, never there because of death, divorce
• Passive Father - Wears boxer shorts because wife is wearing the pants in the family
• Performance Father - Gives blessing but it is attached to your performance. You have to earn his blessings

My real dad, now dead fits in the Absent Father profile quite nicely while he was abusive to my mother. My step dad on the other hand was the Abusive Father in all ways.

The bible reveals to us that God is the perfect father. Our own experience with our earthly fathers is transferred over to how we relate to heavenly father God. Okay I am not saying that all earthly fathers are bad, they just not perfect and can never match up to our heavenly father. The good experiences here bring us closer to knowing and understanding God, just as bad experiences create a distorted picture of our Father's love for us.

Louie revealed to us that we are always seeking the father's blessing. The blessings are

• Father's Love
• Father's Approval
• Father's Acceptance
• Father's Active Participation
• Father's Spoken Belief

In 1 John 3:1 we are told that we are the children of God and every child is to receive a blessing from his dad. That is how God made it. Even though most of us have not received our father's blessings we must step under our heavenly Father's blessings. God is not a bigger version nor is He the refection of our earthy father. He is Perfection.

Louie suggests that we take the blessings from our heavenly Father and send it up the family tree and bless our earthly fathers. Wow not an easy pill to swallow.

Later in the evening, Mike described how he felt when his step father died. He felt nothing. No sadness just a sense of happiness that the chapter in his life was over. My heart cried out, yes, yes, I too would feel nothing when that day comes. I probably won't even know about it until months later and would just shrug it off. Louie said earlier that our earthly fathers are only human too. They too were/are seeking their father's blessing. This made me think about my remaining earthly father but the thought didn't last very long. Although I have forgiven him, there is this chasm between us that in a way I don't want fixed. He must stay far away from my family and me. Yes I know something is not right and how typical it is for me to somehow put the blame on me. This is something, which takes time to heal. It is hard but yes I do believe that God loves my earthy father just as much as he loves me. God also wants him to join us in His kingdom.

Oh how the enemy has used my pain to distort my view of the perfect father.

I did not receive any blessings from my earthly father but I have received abundant blessing from my heavenly father. I want to turn those blessings into blessings for my son Matthew. Not to be a perfect father but to come close to it.

Oh boy, I have a long way to go but I have Jesus by my side.